We went out to watch the new Spider-Man movie this weekend, and boy, I was both surprised and not surprised at how well this movie is being received. Surprised, because wow, how is it possible that it's on track to overtake Avengers: Infinity War at the box office? And I thought there was superhero fatigue?

Then again, this is Spider-Man we're talking about. He will always shatter expectations because everyone just seems to love him. We watched on its second week, and yet our theater was packed. Kids, adults, grandparents. All ages covered. Spider-Man resonates with everyone. This really shouldn't be a surprise.

The compelling thing about Spidey has always been the burden of being both Spider-Man and Peter Parker. The weight of being a superhero and an ordinary young adult just trying to get by. And it seems never-ending. Just when he believes he has finally attained some kind of balance, the rug is pulled out from underneath him, and he has to battle it out all over again. It's like Sisyphus, condemned to push the immense boulder of great power and great responsibility up the hill, only for it to always come crashing down.

And almost always, he has to deal with this alone. He traipses and trudges on by himself. He learns to embrace the burden as a gift, and we, the audience, learn to embrace the ups and the downs of seeing him struggle and, eventually, win.

For much of the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies, the torment of being both Spidey and Peter have always been there - but the "dealing with it alone" part was mostly lacking. He had Iron Man, Happy, and Aunt May for the most part. He had Ned and MJ. He had Dr. Strange. He even had Peter 2 (Tobey) and Peter 3 (Andrew). There was a lot of obstacles, sure, and definitely a lot of hard lessons to learn for Peter too. But within those 3 movies, incredibly fun and enjoyable as they were, relied too much on the people on Peter's periphery to get him to the finish line. The stakes just were not as high for Peter, and for the first two movies at least, the consequence of his "difficult" decision always still led to a pretty clean slate.

It wasn't the case for No Way Home. And it's only in this new one, Brand New Day, that we really see Peter actually alone. Detached and isolated. He is managing quite well, fully committing to being friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. But he is unmoored. He is forced to navigate life without friends, without family. And the movie is all the more better for it for finally showing us a Spider-Man that is not entirely a lost cause, but is still out of sorts anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I don't quite enjoy any Spider-Man arc that makes him suffer just for the sake of suffering. ("One More Day" still sucks!!!!) Peter Parker should not be synonymous with agony or never-ending pain.

But, part of what makes Peter Parker, well, Peter Parker, is his ability to always rise above any adversity. It's inspiring to see him overcome the obstacles that are thrown his way, whether deserved (as a result of his own actions) or not (because the world is randomly cruel and unkind). This is what makes him relatable. "Superheroes, they're just like us, am I right?" simply does not apply to billionaire Batman or alien Superman.

And seeing him navigate the complexities of life all on his own is so much more rewarding. In Brand New Day, yes he has DeWolf, and he kinda also has Frank, but essentially, he has to work on himself, to confront his own issues, before he is in a position to genuinely help others. When he finally and fully accepts this new reality, only then is he able to meet the world's cruelty with something sturdier than luck: his own resolve. He is able to move forward on his own terms, instead of just reacting to whatever life throws at him next.

In Brand New Day, he can finally start living again, instead of just surviving.

I loved it so much. The heartbreak of realizing that he can never really get MJ or Ned back (or can he? Did Jean fix their memory loss, though?). The longing for Aunt May's comforting words and presence. The ability to reach out to Jean Grey and embrace her just as much as he embraces himself. It was all so rewarding. This felt earned precisely because for the first three Tom Holland Spider-Man movies, he had so much help. Here, he got to this position all on his own. No shortcuts.

And maybe that's the whole reason why the audiences will continue to love and show up for this Spider-Man: he will continue to try, learn, and earn his wins the hard way, just like the rest of us.

Stray Observations:

• I enjoyed the Hulk scenes a lot! While I didn't exactly hate Professor Hulk, it's so good to finally see him be actually scary again. But I was so touched when Savage Hulk seemed to remember Peter Parker. Does this mean Dr. Strange's spell didn't work on him?
• I really liked the Sadie Sink casting. A few friends I spoke to felt that Jean Grey being the same age as Spidey is too young. But Idk, I like that change. We need fresh blood in the MCU. But also Sadie Sink is just really likeable and a super good actress. (Even though I keep hearing "Running Up The Hill" in my head in her first few scenes, haha!) She's going to give Jean Grey the gravitas she needs in live action.
• The Punisher appearing in this movie is a welcome change. I think I like their dynamic more than if it were Ryan Reynolds' Deadpool. It might have been too much at this point. With Frank, it was just right. And Frank also having experienced tremendous loss in his life made him a compelling side character to Spidey.
• THAT scene with MJ. Oooof. Heartbreaking. I literally cried. I saw the twist from a mile away but I still cried.
• But what actually made me tear up is seeing Ned and Spider-Man together again. That friendship. Man, I'm such a sucker for friendship stories. For relationships that are so believable, that they can run so deep inside our souls, that no spell or magic can erase that genuine affection and connection.
• Mr. Milchick as another bad guy. Lol. He's so fun to watch! I'm glad he got this gig. And seriously, if the Department of Damage Control is going to play a big role in the MCU moving forward especially with the introduction of mutants, I'm happy for Tremell Tillman. (But pleaaase, Severance, come back soon.)
• This is probably the best Zendaya has ever been in all of their Spidey movies so far. I know she's a good actress, but her MJ was always just kinda meh for me, and much of the chemistry was really carried by my knowledge that Tom and Zendaya were together in real life. But for the first time, she really seemed like an admirable, likeable, and believable partner.
• I'm sad that the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies do not have a proper soundtrack?? The Tobey and Andrew ones had such good songs. Brb, let me get on them right now and wallow in the classic, good old Spidey blues.
• Because of this movie, I re-read Spider-Man: Blue by Jeph Loeb annd Tim Sale again. So good. The best and my absolute favorite comic of all time. Perfectly encapsulates what makes Spider-Man the perfect superhero to look up to. He embraces the good and the bad. He believes in things eventually falling into place. He continues to do good, and chooses the right things even though it is difficult. He really embodies the best of us.

I liked the movie. I enjoyed it for what it was, I think it was money well spent (we only saw it in a regular cinema, in Dolby Atmos, not IMAX, because we couldn't get tickets even on its second week), and I'm glad we finally saw it. I found Matt Damon's anguish believable, Anne Hathaway was the emotional center and glue, but John Leguizamo and Robert Pattinson were my favorites. Samantha Morton's Circe was also a highlight, as was the scene featuring the Trojan Horse.

That said.

There are things the movie did well enough for me, but there was so many other parts that I wish they did better. Was I expecting too much? Am I living in a bubble? Every reputable critic I've found online has deemed it perfect, Nolan's best work, elevated the material, etc.

And yet.

There was something missing for me. It lacked whimsy and magic? Grandeur and spectacle? For something that was labeled as a "cinematic masterpiece," I wanted the whole movie to be entirely astonishing in every scene, in every dialogue, and basically, in every way. Maybe my expectations were just too high.

I do appreciate what Nolan was trying to do. His message was not lost on me. The emotional and mental toll of war is incessant. The guilt can be unrelenting. And the pain - on both sides - is immeasurable. We see this through Penelope, Telemachus, to everyone Odyssey left behind, but also through his companions, who only ever followed orders, and after succeeding, only wanted to go home. The suffering is palpable. And it seemed like suffering was the point of the movie.

But was suffering the central premise of the epic poem?

This movie was anchored on the concept of Zeus' law or xenia, the sacred bond between host and guest. All guests must be welcomed with generosity and reciprocity, as they might be gods disguised among men. In return, hosts must be respected and shown gratitude. This social contract has sustained their civilization for decades, for millennia. But the Trojan War was the beginning of its end; this sacred bond slowly disintegrated as the events unfolded. The betrayal of Paris, who was welcomed in Troy. The war that lasted for a decade between the Trojans and the Achaeans. And finally, the Trojan Horse. An offering for Athena, a symbol of peace. Accepted with open arms by the Trojans, under the assumption that a gift so large could only mean something good, like a grand gesture of remorse. Only to be betrayed mercilessly as a consequence of their acceptance. And all this was Odysseus' doing. He created this deception, and contributed to the eventual disintegration of xenia. He played a huge part in it; and this movie focuses on Odysseus as he wrestles with the burden of guilt.

Penelope's longing, laced with anger and frustration, is so palpable on screen. She didn't want this to happen; and neither did her husband, it seemed. He didn't want to go. Nobody wanted to, it seems. But he had to.

So he did.

Odysseus' remorse and responsibility is what frames this movie. It is an admirable position to take for Nolan, because he is good at telling this type of story. He has done so, and has done it well, in Inception, Interstellar, the Batman trilogy, and Oppenheimer. He has mastered this craft, so much so that doing it to Odysseus felt like a natural progression of Nolan's storytelling.

But it is precisely what it ended up being: Nolan's story. Not The Odyssey. For me, it appeared that he used The Odyssey - the epic - simply as an apparatus on which he can hang and build his narrative of a man being burdened by guilt.

But guilt and remorse does not exist in The Odyssey. It is about glory, about winning, about excess, about spectacle and adventure. Not conscience. Odysseus is a man defined by his hubris alongside his endurance, not by an inner reckoning with what he has done. It is what makes him Odysseus. It is what makes him tell the Cyclops he was "Nobody," and it is likewise what makes him admit to him that it was "Odysseus," who ultimately shot the arrow. Damon's Odysseus does not want to embrace his greatness; Homer's Odysseus seems to revel in it.

Perhaps, my experience with the movie is tainted by me reading it beforehand. The story was fresh in my mind; I had presumptions and expectations. On its own, I was glad to have seen it. The three hours didn't feel like a slog. It was paced well, and the actors elevated so much of the script. It was actually a really good movie. Relevant, even, especially in these times. It just didn't feel like an excellent adaptation of The Odyssey for me.

But that is fine. Not every "cinematic masterpiece" has to cater to my taste. I can appreciate a movie for what it is, and disregard my own feelings for what I thought it was trying to do. If anything, I'm so happy to see people still flocking to it, and even reading The Odyssey because of it. People are going to the movies again! People are reading again! This is, all-in-all, a net good. So the movie did what it set out to do. Props to Nolan for that.

Stray Observations:

• My main beef with this movie is really Charlize Theron's Calypso. I'm so sorry, but girl, your face card is not enough to carry that whole arc. Why did she look like she was just acting for a Dior perfume ad? Where is the whimsy? Where is the craziness? Where is the possessiveness? He imprisoned Odysseus for seven years!!! I did not feel that at all. I wish they didn't take this route for her character.
• On the other hand, Samantha Morton's Circe was such a highlight for me. That scene where she was transforming the men into pigs. A++, no notes. Get her the Oscar for that alone. "Back to your disguises," also gave me chills.
• "Somebody get these BEGGARS out of here!" is now officially part of my vocabulary and daily speech. Thanks, Robert Pattinson.

We're only three episodes into the last season, but it's already shaping up to be the best. Deb and Ava finally being in cahoots again, after spending the last few seasons going back and forth on being best friends/worst enemies, is actually cathartic. And each episode has been A+ so far.

I just watched 5x03, and I'm dying at Ava feeling empowered about dating a sex worker but immediately getting the ick when she finds out his actual dream is to be a magician. HILARIOUS. And the Las Vegas Mayor being a very vocal admirer of the sex worker boyfriend? OHMYGOD it's sooo funny. I'm also loving how Deb still has the ambition to shatter glass ceilings and to prove her detractors wrong. The gag that she booked MSG on 9/11 is top-tier though. So is the fact that her Little Debbies are so parasocial they'd harass an executive. The Jimmy/Kayla subplots are also a highlight for me; although I'm glad we got an episode without them, because they're better in small doses.

I'm so going to miss this show when it wraps up; it's been a comfort show for me because I've always secretly dreamt of being a screenwriter. Or a comedy writer. I consume every piece of content on SNL, Conan O'Brien, Seth Meyers, The Lonely Island - basically everything about writing, working behind the scenes, and making comedy mean something. Watching this show is me living vicariously through Ava.